For the third year in a row I participated in NaNoWriMo, which is an attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November, and failed. This year my novel has 13,000 plus words and although each time I sat down to write, getting something on paper was not an issue. As with last year the issue was the sitting down to write part. It is a toss up between Nate and Bessie who seemed to tag team every night between who would have the problems.
Nate's problems are normal kid problems. He had the 40 minute bloody nose at 3:00 in the morning, growing pains which caused him to climb in bed and moan incidentally also at 3:00 in the morning as well. He spent 4 days on crunches and then Thanksgiving Eve, he had the stomach virus. He was home from school anyway because of the crutches, but he wasn't sick at first. In fact while I was cold water bathing a turkey, and making side dishes, he threw up and I attributed it to pain medicine. But he kept throwing up. The turkey went back into the fridge, side dish prep stopped and a quick phone call to friends uninviting them to dinner, and I settled into the routine of taking care of my sick child. He definitely kept me busy and added to my inability to write a novel. But as I mentioned Bessie was tag teaming.
Bessie has also needed early morning help. On the nights that Nate slept in, she was up at 3:00 in the morning to go potty. She also wandered the house, snored loudly outside my bedroom door, and sometimes just needed comfort. She also had her problems on Thanksgiving Eve. Once Nate stopped throwing up, she started chewing everything she could get in her mouth. She was panting, pacing, and anxious. As I sat with her wondering how to calm her it occurred to me at midnight to give her a doggie massage. A very long time ago I had read an article about how to give your pet a massage. Although I didn't remember much, I did the best I could. Finally, she calmed down enough to sleep. I carried to her to the coldest room in the house and got in bed. She curled up behind my legs and rested her head on my knees. I was afraid to move for fear I would wake her. We slept that way for 3 hours. When she suddenly jumped off the bed and started chewing. I was so exhausted that I went upstairs to my own bed and Bessie took her spot and slept the rest of the night outside my door. As we drifted off to sleep I told Eric we needed to have Thanksgiving on Friday or Saturday.
At 9:00 bright and early, Nate woke us up. He wanted to know when I was cooking the turkey, he was starving. At 11:00 I started cooking and somehow we pulled a nice Thanksgiving dinner together. We hung out and even Bessie seemed to be doing better. But only for a short time.
Bessie was getting weaker and having some issues. We debated whether or not it was time to put her down and exactly one week after Thanksgiving, we finally made the decision. It was such a hard decision and I didn't feel sure about it all. Sure the vet said to list 5 things she loved to do and when she stopped doing 3 of them it was time to put her down. We had reached that point. When I expressed my concern it was too early, she told me it was better to let Bessie die with some dignity intact rather than wait. Bessie did hate what was happening to her and she couldn't control it, it was only going to get worse.
So the last week of November found us as a family going to the vet office one last time. We decided that all of us would support her and be there until she passed. It turned out to be very difficult. We fed her thin mint girl scout cookies because the vet believed every dog should leave this world happy. She was pretty excited about those cookies. But when her body went limp, Hailey, Nate, and I just cried. The poor assistant helping the vet was in tears and left as quickly as possible. The vet was very gracious and gave us plenty of time to say our goodbyes. We had our own small service to share our favorite memories and what we would miss then we walked back into the cold night without our beloved pet. The desire to write that elusive novel just never made an appearance after that. So much of my routine over the last 12 and half years involved taking care of our dogs. To lose them both in a short period of time has been really difficult and I definitely miss them both.
It can't all be blamed on Bessie and Nate, November also brought us other sad family news and problems that pulled at our hearts. Although we are so grateful for all we have, I'm probably not the only one somewhat glad to see this month end. I only hope that next November is better, for all of us. Perhaps next year, there will finally be time to get a novel written.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry! Love and hugs to all of you.
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